Bob Hope quotes

Where would I like my ashes scattered? I don't know. Surprise me.
Bob Hope

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
Bob Hope

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
Bob Hope

Clinton loves to make long speeches. In fact, this will be the first inaugural address with an
intermission.
Bob Hope

Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to
protect his buns.
Bob Hope

It's hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you're putting.
Bob Hope, on Dwight D. Eisenhower

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.
Bob Hope

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
Bob Hope

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come
to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
Bob Hope

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the
presidency.
Bob Hope

Everything Reagan does, Gorbachev does him one better. Reagan wears the flag of his country
on his lapel. Gorby wears the map of his country on his forehead.
Bob Hope

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope

He rules the country with an iron fist - the same way he plays the piano.
Bob Hope, on Harry Truman

Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at.
Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Bob Hope